Do you find that you are trapped in the habit of over thinking? Is it difficult for you to shut your mind even for a few moments? Do you feel tired and fretful because of your stream of unending thoughts? If your answers are in affirmative, you are probably a chronic over thinker. But before you jump to a conclusion, why not study the signs you are an over thinker to get a confirmation?
It Is Not A Shame To Be An Overthinker
We live in a complex society. Agreed, the complexities are more in metros and bigger towns than villages or small towns.
It is not difficult to reach to the reasons to over thinking. There are responsibilities, aspirations, expectations and so much competition for every individual who wants to be successful in the modern society.
And there are problems and challenges relating to generating income, creating savings, investment and finances, emotional trauma, and other issues that leave our minds overwhelmed.
Signs You Are An Over Thinker
While it is good and rather a good habit to think carefully, research and compare options but this ability to think through or this skill to weigh the options puts our mind in overdrive if it is non stop process. If the mind starts analyzing everything and wants to know the hidden meaning behind every unsaid word then it can actually have adverse effects.
But first, let’s find out if you are you an over thinker?
Sign #1 You Think More Than You Actually Do
There is a popular term – “Analysis Paralysis”. Before doing something, you think, gather and process so much information that you either get tired or confused or both. This finally leads to no action from you.
Wanting to take informed decision or chose the best option is a good skill. It is normal and beneficial habit but when you spend too much time thinking or analyzing about it, you realize that you are not left with enough time.
Related reading: Importance of writing a journal
Sign #2 You Analyze Everyone And Everything
Leave alone the important things or complex problems, even for the smallest thing you explore ideas and alternate solutions.
Easy options are not sufficient for you. You want to go deeper and weigh all of the options, one by one.
You are very proud of your ability to think critically and you consider it to be a strength.
The same habit extends to studying people critically. Agreed the actions or behaviors can reveal a lot about a person but the over thinkers are good at putting these behaviors together.
They study the minutest trait of a person from dress to tone of speech to their expression – leaving nothing to chance. After that they know all about the particular person’s personality, the way he or she behaves and why?
Recommended reading: How to deal with criticism and critics
Sign #3 You Want Everything To Be Neat And Organized
You want everything to be neat and organized otherwise you freak out .
Overthinkers usually tend to get upset when something isn’t in order. The reverse is also true that Perfectionists tend to be overthinkers. If you calm down only after you have ensured that everything around you is exactly where it should be, it is one of the signs you are an over thinker.
Another reason could be that you always want to be in control and aware, so that you are prepared to handle whatever challenge you may face.
Related reading: Anger Management
Sign #4 You Have Patience But Actions Are Delayed
You display remarkable patience. This is because you seek a great depth of information. Secondly, you spend a lot of time to “dot all of your i’s and cross all of your t’s.” Since it takes you longer than most, but it delights you.
Since you are willing to wait it out until you feel satisfied with the information you’ve acquired, taking actions is often delayed or sometimes there is NO action.
Always seeking maximum information before taking any action is one of the signs you are an over thinker.
Sign #5 You Are Lagging In Your Love Life
Just telling someone “you like her / him” doesn’t happen effortlessly in your case at all.
You might spend endless nights thinking about your crush and whether they like you back or not. You’d notice smallest detail, every expression, every conversation trying to figure out how they feel.
But the probability of letting them know is almost zero. Because God forbid — What if they don’t respond favorably?
Recommended reading: Difference between behavior of men and women
Sign #6 You Are A Good Listener
You are rather an excellent listener and all your friends love this trait in you. Friends feel comfortable talking to you for hours can because they know you will truly listen. People trust you and feel comfortable around you.
Sign #7 You An Excellent Secret Keeper
One of the signs you are an over thinker is your being good at keeping all your secrets to yourself. Also you can surely keep the secrets of others as well.
Recommended reading: Secrets You Should Always Keep
Sign #8 Many A Times You Considered The Peacemaker
Since you are a good listener, you are a careful observer and you don’t tend to take sides, whenever there is a fight or an argument, you are approached to resolve it.
Your “hand off” and non intrusive personality would never support violence; everyone that knows you is aware of that.
Sign #9 You Get Worried When You Don’t Get A Quick Response
As soon as you send someone a text message or an email you get restless for the response. You keep checking your phone or laptop for the response.
If there is a delay, you start wondering if what you wrote was wrong, or if they are upset with you, or if they might be ignoring you.
Texting at the first place is stressful for you. Often you wonder if they really want to talk to you in the first place, or if getting a text from you is the last thing they want.
Related reading: Don’t worry, be happy
Sign #10 You Do Not Let Go Of Things Easily
Overthinkers tend to be incredibly obstinate and inflexible. It is not easy for them to let go of negative or odd things easily.
It could be because you have put so much efforts and time to figure out the odd thing, you find it difficult to let go of it. You may continue thinking about it long after it happened or it lost its importance. The more you think about something, the more it may eat away at you.
Related reading: Letting Go
Sign #11 Sometimes You Are Happy To Let Others Make A Choice For You
Is it not interesting? You spend so much time thinking and analyzing that your mind gets tired. Yet you still haven’t figured out that what you want. So if you get an opportunity for someone else to take over, you don’t mind.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you are dependent on other people for your choices. You’re simply aware of how much conflict it causes within you to make any decision because of your overthinking. One of the sure signs you are an overthinker.
Sign #12 You Find Difficult To Fall Asleep
For overthinkers, naturally falling asleep at the end of the day can be an absolutely tormenting experience. Since you can’t shut your mind off because it is overactive you fall prey to insomnia.
You mind is ‘on’ – even when you retire for the day. You mind starts replaying all the events of the day so that you can analyze them. You are expected to find a meaning from the various events of the day – even if there is none. This often makes it hard for you to get to sleep.
With most of the events of the day running through your head and you are thinking about how things could have gone differently.
Your mind races and even if you need to sleep; all the anxieties from the day keep flooding your mind, and you can’t escape from this mental prison.
Suppose if there wasn’t much happening on that day, you find yourself pondering over the things from the past. It is one of the serious signs you are an over thinker.
Sign #13 You’re Always Looking For Hidden Messages
Agreed people have secrets and some people do lie compulsively or some people hide facts. However, most people say straightaway they mean, especially about everyday things. But as an overthinker you might see every statement as some sort of message that needs to be decoded to find its true meaning.
A colleague who missed to give you a smile today intrigues you and you try to find a meaning – even if there would be none.
Smallest inconsistencies may consume you and you over-analyze it. You try hard to find the true reason of the change – when there usually isn’t one.
Sign #14 You Find It Hard To Forget When Someone Hurts You
Your threshold of pain is low. You are very emotional and get hurt easily by the words, gestures or actions of others. Once hurt, possibly you’ll never quite be able to forget the incident and forgive the person.
It is one of the painful signs you are an over thinker. This makes it hard to repair a relationship with someone who has offended you.
Regardless of how much time has passed or how many times a person has apologized to you, there is a part of you that shall never forget how they hurt you.
Sign #15 You Are Obsessively Seeking New Information
if you are an over thinker, you obsessively Google things. You must know ‘why’, ‘how’ of everything. For example, you may like to search on Google, “why people catch cold?” or “How to increase fuel efficiency of the particular model of the car?” etc.
If you plan to go on a long drive with family, you would check weather of your city, weather at the destination, the route, the time taken by car – chances are, you’re researching everything about it and double checking it too.
Of course, on the positive side, this obsession of over thinkers makes them a walking knowledge bank of information about many different topics.
Video:15 Signs You Are An Over Thinker
How To Deal With Your Overthinking / How To Stop Overthinking
Being an overthinker or over analyzer brings its own set of peculiar challenges, limitations and issues certainly they can be dealt with if you serious intend to.
Taking corrective action can certainly help you balance your over-thinking with more action and better output.
Here are a few suggestions you can try out on your own or with the help of your friend / spouse, unless you decide to take a professional help.
- Try to live in the moment – open yourself up to the unexpected and uncontrolled things in the world and see where they take you.
- Relax and let go. – Meditation and exercises like Yoga or Tai chi are some of the proven helpful techniques
- Detach yourself one by one from the small things, you will see that they really don’t matter much.
- Read other articles recommended here
Do try out these and you’ll notice a wonderful difference in your personality.
To Sum Up
So, you are reasonably convinced that you are an over-thinker?.
If so, you have to take a few steps. First determine if you are comfortable being one or you want to do something about it. Being a good analyst, you may like to draw a list of benefits and drawbacks of being an over thinker.
I am sure that you will find that the disadvantages are far more than the advantages, but you are the best judge for yourself.
Secondly, identify what mostly triggers you into overthinking. Once done, you may like to work on the some of the suggestions given in the previous section. Make sure you do so one by one.
Thirdly, be conscious that you tend to over think or over worry or over analyze. So next time you begin doing that, catch yourself and change your thought patterns.
Over a period of time you will have a better control over this habit of yours. Of course, if need be you may like to take professional help.