No matter how wonderful your relationship is, it’s only natural to expect bumps along the road of marriage. This is what we call relationship struggles in relationship counselling. But what happens when one of those bumps results in broken trust? Well don’t worry. From my years of experience as a relationship counsellor, I am sharing 7 Ways to Rebuild Trust in a Marriage on the Rocks to help couples who are currently experiencing relationship struggles to save their marriage.
Trust is essential for a healthy marriage and a harmonious relationship. When you trust your partner, you know you can rely on them, you feel safe in your relationship, and you know that your spouse always has your best interest at heart.
Be it an affair, financial infidelity, or minor white lies that have built up over time, once trust has been broken, it can be nearly impossible to restore.
7 Ways to Rebuild Trust in a Marriage on the Rocks
If you’ve lost the trusting relationship you once had with your partner, don’t give up. It is possible to fix the relationship struggles that pushed you apart. Here are 7 tips for how to save your marriage and restore your broken bonds. In addition, in this blog, there are also two videos:
1. Own Up to Problems
Taking responsibility for your actions is a large part of how to save your marriage.
When we are back into a corner, we tend to go on the defensive and make excuses. Sometimes, this may even cause our partner to doubt and question themselves. This is bad behavior that will only do further damage to our marriage.
Related reading: Healthy Relationship Tips For Couples
Did you cheat on your partner or entertain the idea of stepping outside your marriage to the point that an emotional affair occurred? Were you spending money or building bad habits that you were keeping from your spouse? No matter what the issue was, it’s time to come clean.
Instead of getting defensive or reaching for a lie, own up to it. A very simple marriage tip, isn’t it!
2. Stop Bad Behavior
Years of my marriage counselling experience has taught me that secrets will be the end of your marriage. In order to save your marriage, you must be willing to end whatever behavior is that broke your partner’s trust for good.
Also refer to: Relationship Problems And How To Solve Them
If you were having an emotional or physical affair, you must end it. This means deleting this person off of social media, blocking them from your phone, switching jobs or avoiding that person to the best of your abilities if you work together and switching careers or locations isn’t feasible.
If the deceit in your marriage was caused by money matters, such as gambling, hiding money, or secretly overspending, you must get help to stop these bad habits.
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3. Seek Marriage Counseling
If you want to learn how to save your marriage, you must first be willing to do whatever it takes to get things back on track.
Marriage counseling can help couples because:
- Couples are able to air their grievances and express themselves in a neutral setting
- Restore intimacy and close connections
- The therapist will teach partners to communicate effectively
- A counselor can help boost trust through couple’s exercises
- Couples create goals together
- Recognize weak spots in the relationship that led to the betrayal
- Receive help in moving on and creating a new plan of action
Check out: Tips to Newlyweds by Married People
If you aren’t willing to go as far as taking counseling sessions, you can take up a marriage course. marriage courses can also help you overcome the roadblocks in your relationship.
4. Be Honest
This is simplest of all marriage tips. When mistakes happen in a relationship, it can be tempting to keep the whole truth to yourself. You might reason, “Why make things worse?”
Why? Because lying is the quickest way to ruin a happy, healthy marriage. In order to move on from your deceit, you have to be willing to be honest in all things.
Must read: How to Keep Your Relationship Strong and Fun
You don’t minimize damage by holding back details of your deceit, you make things worse. Making it your policy to practice honesty, even when it is hard to do so, will show your partner you have changed.
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5. Work on Your Connection
Strengthening your connection is one of the best things you can do for your marriage. In order to rebuild trust, you must learn to deepen your emotional intimacy. You can do this through a regular date night.
Studies indicate that couples who had a regular date night (at least once or more a month) noticed:
- Better communication
- Feelings associated with early-relationship puppy love
- Fought off marriage boredom
- A deepened physical connection
- Boosted marital friendship
- Greater relationship satisfaction
Research also indicates that couples who have a regular date night are less likely to get divorced. This is largely because they are making quality time a priority. You may also like to refer to: Secrets of Successful Marriage
This is another thing that can be helpful about marriage counseling – you rediscover each other. Just because you’ve been married for thirty years doesn’t mean you know everything there is to know about your partner.
6. Be Accountable
Staying true to your word is one of the biggest tips for how to save your marriage.
When you break your partner’s trust, you give them justified reason to doubt your word. They can no longer believe what you say is true. Because of this, they may question your friendships and your whereabouts.
Be accountable to your partner and show them they can trust you again.
- If you’re going to be late from work, call and explain why.
- If you ended up at the same location as the person you were having an affair with, call and explain why.
- If you’re not where you said you were going to be, do you see where this is going?
Being accountable to your partner means explaining yourself. Also refer to: How to Improve Your Relationship
This may make you feel like a teenager reporting to a parent about your whereabouts, but if you truly want to save your marriage you must learn to be transparent with your partner until they feel comfortable.
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7. Be Consistent
Winning back your partner’s trust is not an overnight event. It takes time, love, patience, and consistency.
Being consistent is about making logical, honest decisions over and over again. Your behavior is trustworthy and repetitive in the best way possible.
Useful reading: When does your husband need your emotional support?
You show consistency when you call or come home at the same time every day.
By being consistent with your actions and behavior, you show your partner you are always going to be there for them and have no intentions of hurting them ever again.
Video: How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship
To sum up
Learning how to save your marriage is about more than just reading tips and tricks online. You must be willing to make a real change. Seek marriage counseling, own up to your problems, and stay consistent and accountable to your spouse. Making honesty a priority in your marriage will help you stay devoted to your spouse.
Author: Rachael Pace
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