Being a good spouse entails many things. You need to spend enough time together, talk to each other, do things together, love your spouse and show them that and so on. However, while this is easy at the beginning of a marriage and in that honeymoon phase of your life, it gets harder and harder with each passing year, every kid, new job, new problem and so on. To keep the spirit of marriage active and alive we share 6 Tips On Making your Spouse A Priority.
In this blog, there is also an interesting video on the subject: How To Make Your Marriage And Spouse A Priority.
Why marriage gets stale?
We get lost in our own mind and our needs that we forget about our spouse and their needs. Kids take away so much attention, especially when they are younger, we all get tired and sometimes we start taking our spouses for granted, no matter what our gender is. This is a dangerous territory. Taking your spouse for granted will make them feel underappreciated and unhappy in your relationship.
How not to let the marriage get boring?
No matter how hard you work or how many problems you have, you still need to find enough time for your spouse.
Spark that romance, remember why you two fell in love in the first place. Never let things get in the way.
6 Tips On Making your Spouse A Priority
However, this isn’t so easy to do. Things don’t just happen on their own and being married takes hard work on your relationship and feelings to really be happy and really have a harmonious relationship.
This is why we offer you some advice that can help you find that passion and rebuild that love you once had. Not so much for your spouse – you love them, that much you know. But more so for spending time with them, laughing with them and just talking about random things.
These tips take some hard work and nothing is as easy as it seems. However, it might be easier for you to employ these tactics if you just imagine what will happen in the end, if you do and what will happen if you don’t. You will become strangers if you don’t. And your kids will leave, leaving you two strangers in the same house, alone. Those things take a toll on your relationship. So, you need to learn how to go back to your spouse and rekindle that friendship when they were always a priority in your life.
Are you paying enough attention to your spouse? If you are not sure, this means that you are not. Here are some tips to fix that:
1. Find time for them every day
Life is busy and people have a lot of things to do. You do to, and with kids and all of the obligations, it can be hard to find time for your partner. When was the last time you had a real conversation? Or the last time you were really together?
This is a common issue and both you and your partner can feel under appreciated because of this.
The solution is simple. Just find enough time for each other every day. It could be in the morning, before the kids wake up, or in the evening when they fall asleep and the work is done. Leave them with a Babysitter perhaps and go to dinner. But it’s very important to do this every day.
This doesn’t have to be as complicated either. Being with your partner is quite simple. You can watch a movie after you put kids to bed or even talk when you go to bed to sleep. You can spend time together even when you are with other people, simply by focusing on each other, smiling at each other, laughing about your inside joke.
These are the small things that make a marriage and that improve it. This is also one of the best things about a marriage. So, you should really do your best to show that. Tell your partner what you want to do, what your goal is. They will certainly be glad that you want that and they will also put in the effort to do that as well.
2. Get away together
Have occasional getaways. This is a great way to get to know the person you are with all over again. It can be romantic, fun and you could really have a good time with your spouse. No kids, no work, just you and some nice scenery.
Talk, hang out, lay in bed and so on.
Abandon all screens as well. No TV or mobile phones, unless for an occasional phone call for home.
“Talking is very important in any relationship. However, most couples don’t do it often enough. They may talk but this is mostly about some daily events and obligations,” says Dan Gruber, a couple relations therapist at UK Writings.
You should instead focus on talking about how the other is feeling or some ideas that you might have, your work, the future, other people and so on. Fill your day with meaningful conversations.
Find out new things about your partner. Make time for talking every day. Nothing matters more in a relationship than a good communication.
4. Do things together
Doing things together is another important piece of the puzzle. But, this is yet another thing couple’s don’t do. For instance, you may do something g together but you are in your own separate corners of the mind.
Instead, take a class together or do something small like making dinner together every night. Talk while you are doing that. Discuss what you are doing or talk about something else entirely. Have a painting class together, a dance class or something else you both like or even dislike. Learn a language together.
Just recall your relationship and all of the things you did together while you were dating – most of those things you do separately now because life is complicated. However, you can change that if you make an effort.
5. Never stop dating
“This is very important – never stop being those crazy teenagers who love spending time together. Always have enough time to date. Dress up nicely for each other, do nice things for each other and go to different places outside your home just so you can be alone. Sit in the car and make out or have an adventure,” says Gert Felix, a family counsellor at Boom Essays.
Alone, just the two of you. Text each other nice things or call each other frequently.
These are all those small things that you never get to do anymore but you definitely should. Again, this is just a matter of habit and forming it properly.
You get lazy as your marriage progresses and you get too comfortable with your spouse. Just remind yourself that they could leave you at any time, find someone better just because you were too lazy to work on your relationship.
This might sound too scary or too radical, but it’s the reality of life. You fail to show someone how much you love them or even that you do, and they start feeling unloved and leave you for someone that will actually find the time for them. It’s that simple.
6. Show affection
You assume that your partner knows how much you love and appreciate them. However, this doesn’t always have to be true. Remember to show them just how much you love them. Tell them, cuddle with them, kiss them unexpectedly and pay attention to what they are saying.
There can never be too much of attention. Most couples forget to do this after a while. It’s a common problem with married couples because you just assume that they already know that you love them and that you care about them.
However, even if they do know this, after a while of not receiving any attention, your partner will likely start feeling unloved and underappreciated. No person should ever feel like this. And it’s your duty as their spouse to always show them attention and how much you care about them.
Showing attention takes almost no effort from you and it will mean a lot to your partner. Not only that, but by these simple acts if affection, you will realize just how much you enjoy cuddling with your spouse, kissing them, hugging them and you will start to form a habit of showing affection.
Video: How To Make Your Marriage And Spouse A Priority
To sum up
Being married is all about making an effort. Be the best person you can for your spouse and always have enough time for them. All of these tactics have proven that they are effective and that they work perfectly. However, they work best when both partners make the effort.
It’s often the case that both people in marriage have just gotten into a relationship rut and now they need something to get them back to each other. So, tell your partner what you want to do, share your feelings with them, apologize for not being available and make an effort to include them more in your days and in your feelings and thoughts.
Hopefully, these tips will give you some ideas.
Author: Nora Mork