Sometimes the break up happens faster than you can even realize that it has happened.
While the breaking up could be easy, but it is not so easy to get over the break up – especially the first relationship or the one where you were deeply involved. Whether it was with your girl friend or boy friend or husband or wife, it is difficult to forget your ex.
Does break up always hurt ?
When you break up with your loved one, you are hurt and confused. It sounds crazy but the pain and negative feelings continue to haunt you for a period sometimes longer than the relationship or the marriage lasted. The circumstances, situation and the type of relationship of Tina of New York may be different from Jim living in London and yet both of them may have distinctly different set of circumstances from Partho in Calcutta. Yet the emotions are universally same.
Why it is difficult to forget your Ex
When you love someone, you are really in love with that person no matter how he/she is. It is more than a physiological phenomenon involving body, mind, emotions and perhaps the soul too. You have become used to or rather comfortable to certain set of things which were associated with you ex and the relationship.
Your mind has retained certain pleasant memories from that relationship, which it is now playing again and again making you realize that there is a certain void now which needs to be filled. It is the absence of the activities with which your mind associates which is making you uncomfortable.
Next is your body. When in love the body releases certain kind of chemicals and hormones. Without getting too technical about it, the body gets used to it. But when you break up, you miss the kick.
Third and equally important is your emotional system which is your thoughts and self talk. There could be many kind of thoughts and emotions playing up in your mind, such as:
- Why it happened to me?
- I am so insecure now!
- What am I going to do now?
- How can I carry on with my life now?
- How could he or she do it to me!
- All my plans about future are ruined!
All this is like getting addicted to something and now it is difficult to come out of that addiction.
It is a threat perceived by the survival system
This attack on the body, mind and emotions is like any other threat to human well-being. As a natural response, the body releases adrenaline and other hormones.
The excessive and over production of these chemicals in the body can cause or trigger causing of problems such as nausea, increased blood pressure, loss of appetite, accelerated heartbeat, Blood Sugar Imbalance, Weight Gain and Obesity, Immune System Suppression, Gastrointestinal Problems and other issues such as insomnia, chronic fatigue syndrome, thyroid disorders, dementia, depression.
Thus breakups aren’t just emotional—they are physically harmful too. Perhaps it is this state of mind and body which made people use the terms such as ‘heart broken’, ‘shattered mind’ etc.
Is there a golden method for getting over an ex?
Yes, there are many suggestions.