Why being selfish is good for you

Why being selfish is good for youIn many cultures and societies there is a huge myth that one should take care of one’s near and dear ones first, serve the society otherwise first and then take care of self otherwise such a person is called a selfish person. It is this wrong notion that we shall challenge and systematically prove wrong in this blog article.

1. You can be of use to others only if you are capable

Of course, I am not anti – humanity or advocating pure selfishness. The point is that a person can help, support and love his parents, siblings, spouse or kids only when is physically, financially, mentally and emotionally capable to serve them. Imagine a young kid who has been brought up with the doctrine that one should serve one’s parents. And this boy never went to the college as all his focus was to serve his parents. As an adult would he be truly support his parents better than other boys or girls who have now become Doctors, Engineers, Bankers or IT Professionals? What are your views?

Q: Why being selfish is good for you

Reason: How can you be of any use to others if you are not capable? A little selfishness can be a good thing. You can be of use to others only if you are capable.

2. You can make others happy only if you are happy

So you want to make your husband and kids very happy. You love to see them happy and this is the first priority of your life. This is great and commendable. But would you like to see them happy at the cost of your happiness?

Let us take an example of family budget, where you earmark an amount for buying clothes and dining out. Your husband and kids are very happy whenever they dine out and they love to buy expensive branded clothes for themselves. To see them happy and happier, would you sacrifice your going out for dinner and also not buying latest fashion clothes for yourself. This may eventually mean that you may not be able to move happily in your circle of friends and relatives.

Would you accept yourself to be in a state of misery just to make other persons happy? On the contrary learn to have a great life and enjoy it

Q: Why being selfish is good for you

Reason: Happiness is a state of mind and a kind of energy. How can you give and spread happiness if you are not happy yourself. A little selfishness can be a good thing.

3. Saying yes to everything is not prudent or practical

You have been working very hard to save money. May be this money is for rainy days or it is to fund the higher education of your teenage kids. Your kids are very bright and you have big dreams about their career. You also love your wife very much and would to do anything to see that beautiful smile on her face. One day she wants you to buy her that very expensive diamond necklace or wants the family to go for holiday on a luxurious cruise. You know very well that this is one of the most luxurious cruise holidays in the world and it would not only wipe out your entire savings but may put you under debt also.

Would you say, “let us go ahead darling, I am all for it” to make your partner happy or to prove that you are not being selfish?

Obviously, if you say yes, you are not being rational in balancing the long term interest of the family against the demand of your partner.

Of course, there shall be criticism and it may temporarily lead to your relationship not at its best but you can learn How to deal with criticism, critics and move forward in life

Q: Why being selfish is good for you

Reason: There is nothing wrong with being selfish, if there is a rationale for balancing the benefit and long term interest of all.

Why being selfish is good for you

4. The people you love most also love you very much.

It is said that true love does not demand, rather it gives. Thus if you are loved genuinely then the chances are that your loved ones also want to see you happy, hale and hearty. They would love to associate themselves with you if you look physically, mentally and emotionally fit and fine.

Think about all the depth of love and richness of the relationships when you are not just giving but also receiving. This you can do when you sleep adequately each night, exercise regularly, eat healthy food, are doing well in your career ( or home making), entertain friends and family on a regular basis, engage in nurturing yourself spiritually and so on.

Q: Why being selfish is good for you

Reason: Those who love you also care for you. They want you at the same or higher platform in life and definitely not lower than their position and status.

Refer to: How to simplify life in simple steps

By contrast, if you burn yourself from both the sides or deny yourself the same perks and comforts then you shall be a spent force who is energy less. This may make you irritable, and irrational which will affect the people you love the most or care for.

Your relationships with your loved ones will ultimately suffer for whom you had become ‘not selfish’

To summarize

The long and short of this is that in order to give your best, you have to be in the best possible position yourself first.

The key question is – do you love your near and dear ones enough to want to see them happy? If yes, then make yourself, capable, happy and financially strong first.

For a short time or once in a while it may be alright, but to truly give your best to your parents, spouse, kids, siblings, boss, friends, family, pet … there is no one that benefits from you being in second place. Yes, that’s true and practical too.

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