So you have had a breakup or divorce very recently. Obviously your feelings must be a mix of relief, void, loneliness, sad, angry and even sulking. Not knowing clearly what to do after a breakup, is the possible reason that you are reading this blog. Well the best course of action would be to rediscover life, live it fully and move on.
Related reading: How to forget an Ex you still love.
Also you may like to watch a short video on the subject by clicking here for a Video in English.
What To Do After A Breakup
This means that there should be no thoughts of your ex in your head. There should be no room for your ex in your life. Why? The answer is very simple and easy to understand. If you allow the person or the thoughts to return, you will also allow the unwanted situations to return and torment you.
You had a break up with your partner because certain things were not acceptable to you at all. It was like living it hell. So after a bearing for a reasonable period of time, you mustered courage to break the relationship.
Though it may sound challenging or almost impossible, here are a few things you may seriously consider to act upon and that too right away. Also please see: How to Come Out of a Relationship Break Up
1. Disconnect on Social Media
We live in the times where checking updates or creating updates on Social Media is top priority. Living without Instagram, SnapChat and Facebook can feel like an impossible task.
That is why, post-breakup, your ex’s profiles should go off-limits. If it is breakup, immediately unfollow that person on Facebook, Twitter etc. and untag any photos of the two of you together. The logic is simple, “out of sight, out of mind”.
Related reading: Why it is difficult to forget your Ex
2. Take everything out of sight that reminds you of your ex
Now let’s move from the cyber world to real physical world of yours. Do remove anything and everything out of sight that reminds you of your ex.
Beginning with your bedroom and bathroom, change the linen, artifacts and pictures because that these are the two places where mostly intimacy develops and also the differences are demonstrated.
If it helps, you may even re-arrange the furniture of your living room and the containers in your kitchen shelf. This will tell you that now you are the boss of the house and the living space and you are not under the influence of that person anymore. Recommended for reading: When to End a Relationship
3. Open your Heart to Someone You Trust Completely
It is like rebooting your computer whenever the trouble persists. You may choose your BFF or your mother or sibling and pour your heart out. Don’t hide or change any information. Let there be a catharsis.
During the process it is OK to cry, weep, be sad and so on. Don’t hold back your tears or anger. Releasing the pent up feeling inside you is like letting the steam pass out from a pressure cooker, which has been on the gas stove for long time. Must read: Top reasons why you should choose a good company of friends
Any psychologist, counselor or therapist will tell you the importance of catharsis.
4. Take a Break and Chill Out
Quite literally, yes you do need a break from the boring and crushing routine. After you have emptied your mind and heart of the garbage, you have to fill it up with something nice, pleasant, positive and refreshing.
It is impossible to maintain a vacuum. So if you don’t consciously choose the right stuff to replace the old trash, the stale and bad memories will slowly come back from the back door. Of course, they will re-occupy their space.
There are many choices you have, such go on a holiday to an exotic place you always wanted to go. Or a regular get together and partying with your gang of old friends who always stood by you.
5. Go in for a Makeover
Why not reinvent you and discover someone within you whom you have never allowed to come out. Perhaps you would like to take a new hobby or change your routine such as mediation session in the morning and gym or swimming in the evening. How about golf or music classes on weekends?
How does the idea of changing your hairstyle or buying a new sporty car sound to you?
Perhaps none of these ideas appeal to you but you do have your own recipe to do something different from now onwards. I promise, it will do you good.
6. Forgive, Forget and Move On
Consider your brain, mind or heart as the hard disk where the emotions and memories are stored. Unless you clean up, delete and purge the old files which are disturbing, how can you ever hope to make a new beginning? Hence accept your breakup or divorce gracefully. Consider that to be a stage in your life’s journey and you have crossed that camp now. Leave it behind. Please see: Motivational Quotes about Moving on
Forgive your ex partner or ex spouse and forget the whole episode.
Of course, forgiving does not mean that you are weak or you have accepted that you were wrong. On the contrary, your stature and self respect will increase. It will cleanse you emotionally and spiritually, helping you to re-gain your positive energy.
Also important is to associate your moments of togetherness to happy memories. After all, before the acrimony, you were two love birds who had wonderful times too. Instead of bitterness and ill feelings, you should choose to associate those happy memories with your relationship. Think of times when you were dating, late night parties, fine dining, cooking together, crooning into each other’s ears and there would be so much fun in your life together. Start with when you first met and then the dating.
Be grateful to Universe for that happy part of life and for giving you some great lessons about life. This will be good for your emotional health and ultimately physical well being too.
Video: What To Do After A Breakup
Towards the end
Without any doubt, a break up or divorce is an end of a relationship or marriage which must have been very beautiful at the start. A breakup is very unfortunate, unpleasant and painful end of a beautiful dream together. The life after it can seem to be difficult. But not if you decide to take control and say NO to self pity and misery. Get up, re-charge yourself and move forward to see and experience better things in life.
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