Divorce is never good news for any couple. Perhaps, divorce is not a piece of good news for anybody. A divorce lawyer might have got a substantial amount of money as fees from his client, but when the proceedings do end, even he may not be joyful at the ‘tragic’ culmination of what was at one time a happy relationship between two married individuals. Their marriage could well have been the result of a short or long love affair. The honeymoon would have further strengthened the relationship or the ‘love bond’ between the two. And the divorce suddenly brings this relationship to a dead end. Therefore, before we touch the core subject – Top Reasons for Divorce, let us understand the concept of divorce
What does ‘Divorce’ actually mean?
Divorce, in simple terms, is the termination of a marriage or dissolution of the bonds of matrimony between a legally married couple under the law as prevailing and applicable in a particular country or state. In certain cases, divorce is governed by the customs and traditions applicable to a particular section of the society. There too, it essentially means the end of a relationship between two married persons.
Why does a ‘Divorce’ take place at all?
This question is bound to come to the minds of many people, particularly the ‘deep thinking’ individuals. Any marriage takes place either as a result of a sustained liking and love between two persons or it could be an ‘arranged marriage’ where the two individuals did not, perhaps, know each other earlier. In the latter case also, the relationship between the two people from the time of fixing of such a marriage till the actual marriage, is extra ordinarily cordial, polite and full of love, which is in fact blossoming with every passing day. There is no thought of a divorce ever. The couple may rather be planning and discussing their upcoming honeymoon in great detail for a long time. And then, this happy relationship leads to their marriage. What is it then, which propels these two individuals to ever contemplate going for a divorce?
Top Reasons for Divorce
The question posed above has intrigued many people for a very long time. No fixed or rigid one line or one-word answer can be given even by experienced divorce lawyers and marriage counselors so as to fit all situations. Let us, however, examine some of the top reasons for divorce here:
1. Communication Problems
Some people seem to think that sexual infidelity is the number one cause of divorce. That may not really be true. Experts, including many divorce lawyers and marriage counselors believe that communication problems are the main cause for divorce.
We often tend to forget that communication, by its very definition, is ‘what is understood’ by the other person. We generally stick to our version of what was ‘intended to be conveyed’. Let everyone realize that it is his or her duty to make the spouse understand the point in the manner that it was intended to be conveyed or communicated. You should practice mindful communication with your spouse. Things will be quite different then! Keep in mind poor communication is one of the top reasons for divorce.
2. Cheating and Infidelity
This is easy to understand that why it is one of the top reasons for divorce.
Extra-marital affairs are to blame for a large number of divorce cases. The reasons for people cheating on their spouses could be differences in sexual appetite, lack of moral commitment, lack of compatibility or paucity of emotional intimacy. Infidelity often starts as a seemingly harmless friendship and turns into a physical affair. Studies have shown that there is an even splitting of acts of cheating and infidelity between both the genders.
- Top Signs your Partner is having Extramarital Affair
- Why Married Women Cheat and have Extra Marital Affair
- Reasons Why Married Men Fall in Love with Other Woman
3. Alcohol and Drugs
Alcohol and drugs are also responsible for a large number of divorce cases. They can easily ruin a happy relationship and bring the marriage to an end. Substance dependence and abuse also lead to heated arguments and physical violence in most cases.
4. Money and Financial Matters
Strong differences in opinions on financial matters and disagreements regarding spending and savings can also lead to a divorce. Financial inequity or a huge difference in ‘who brings what to the table’ may add fuel to the fire. After all, money and stress have a deep relationship.
5. Unrealistic Expectations from Marriage and from Spouse
Getting into a marriage with lofty unrealistic expectations from both marriage as well as your spouse is a sure-shot formula for disappointment which may even lead to a divorce. It puts a lot of unnecessary strain on your spouse and leaves you feeling let down. You start complaining, criticizing and blaming your spouse in an unjust manner. A happy relationship gets soured and love diminishes, leading you towards a divorce.
According to the author, after communication, this is one of the top reasons for divorce.
6. Inconsiderate Attitude Towards Your Spouse
You should not lose sight of the fact that even if you and your spouse do not agree on a given topic, both may still be right at the same time. The difference may only be in the perspective. On seeing a half-filled glass of water, a person may say that it is half full while his spouse may just say that it is half empty. Well, both of them are absolutely right and it’s just a case of different perspectives.
Other Reasons for Divorce
In addition to the reasons mentioned above, the under noted factors could also be responsible for a divorce:
- Not having a shared vision of success in life;
- Lack of equality;
- Differences in background;
- Lack of intimacy or romantic spark;
- Laundry and
- Bedroom boredom.
Reasons People Divorce After Less Than A Year Of Marriage
Whether a marriage is a ‘love-marriage’ or an arranged one, ending a happy relationship and seeing a divorce lawyer or seeking divorce from your spouse is not a likable situation at all. Unfortunately, many people go for a divorce soon after their honeymoon or before even celebrating their first marriage-anniversary together. While there could be any number of reasons for people going for a divorce within the first year of their marriage, some of the more prominent reasons are given here under:
- A misplaced sense of ego or ego-centric behavior;
- Infidelity and cheating;
- Alcohol or drug abuse, coupled with physical violence;
- Hurried marriage between unprepared partners and
- Gender identity;
It is never an easy job to make a marriage work. The responsibility has to be ably shared by both the married partners. Any differences which crop up must be sorted out at the earliest. Just as in any other relationship, in marriage too, the spirit should be to always give more than what you get!
You may also like to read: Top Reasons for Divorce in Seasoned Marriages
What is a ‘Happy Home’?
They say, “A happy home is one in which either spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it!”
Believe me, just leaving that much room can often do wonders for building a successful relationship and a happily married family life. The love and honeymoon can indeed last a lifetime! Please do see: How to save Marriage and Avoid Divorce
How do divorce lawyers see the end of a loving relationship called marriage?
If you happen to talk to some divorce lawyers, you may be surprised to learn that most divorce lawyers look at the divorce cases as nothing more than ‘a part of their profession’. There is no emotional angle as far as a divorce lawyer is concerned. Personally, many divorce lawyers would not be happy to see (what was once) a loving relationship between two ‘happily married’ people come to an end as a result of divorce. But they tend to take it in their stride. After all, emotions and profession cannot ‘be married’, much as one may wish so!