What was surprising to me was that how after years of successful relationship how can the men and women develop so much dislike for each other that they need to break the marriage by way of nothing but a divorce. After all it is life and it is normal to have marital problems. But taking the explain step of filing for a divorce and engaging the divorce lawyers is an extreme step which is not comprehensible in a normal way.
Hence we need to look into the top reasons for divorce in seasoned marriages.
Top Reasons for Divorce in Seasoned Marriages
Here are a few reasons which lead to divorce in marriages which have lasted a long time. Some of the reasons may be common while others may startle you a bit.
You Constantly Ignore Partner’s Physical and Emotional Needs
Men offer require sexual intimacy and comforting from their wives, perhaps more than the women do. Similarly, as the age advances, a woman likes to have more of husband’s physical presence or company. Perhaps the reasons are biological and psychological.
However, some people deny this to their spouse, sometimes as a punishment or at other times because of their attaching less priority to this kind of relationship need.
This is like denying water to the plant simply because you are too busy or have got bored of sex. Withholding this important commitment is like punishing your better half. If you let this resentment simmer for long then you are killing the love and romance in your marriage relationship. Beware, one day you will receive a notice from the divorce lawyer!
You Think You Are Too Good or Your Spouse is Inferior
Over a period of time a feeling has made a strong hold in your mind that you are very good and deserve a much better spouse. Alternatively you have allowed an idea to get strengthened in the form of a belief that your wife or husband is no good. Whatever may be the reason our circumstances which has led to this kind of belief or thought, it is petty and funny thought now – as you have spent so many years together. This is self destructive but the dissatisfaction over time will trick you into making mistakes.
Your spouse may have a lot of great qualities too, but you choose to look out in other direction instead of appreciating them. By going in for divorce at this stage in your life, you may end up regretting.
This could be the differences in cultural backgrounds are the ideologies
During the initial period of marriage, these stark differences look rather cute. Members of the family and friends praise you for maintaining a beautiful harmony despite the differences. However, after a few months or years when the efforts to maintain a healthy balance yield no results and there is no permanent solution then there are regular fights.
Eventually this begins to wreak havoc on the marriage. When the partners cannot take it anymore, they decide to part – sadly though.
Obstructing the Progress
Sometimes one of the partners feels choked in the relationship especially when he or she is very progressive minded and wants to reach the heights of materialistic goals or touch the peaks of spiritual development or wants to pursue a passion for hobby. But the spouse is totally unappreciative of it. In fact, the other partner would not let this dream become a reality – consciously or unconsciously.
I know of a person who kicked his comfortable job after 25 years of working to pursue his dream of becoming a successful entrepreneur.
Somehow this idea was totally unacceptable to his wife. She came from the background of serving executives only. The pressures of business, the stress of managing a startup and other challenges in the career of the husband were unapproved of by the lady and she always criticized her husband. Leave alone the idea of giving him moral and emotional support, she always nagged him for leaving his job at this age. Also please read: When does your husband need your emotional support
After 3 to 4 years, when the husband could not take his wife behavior anymore, he filed for divorce. Please read: When to End a Relationship
Relationship Advice – A Practical Approach to Healthy Marriage and Successful Relationship
The foundation of any healthy marriage is on three pillars of physical, emotional and spiritual compatibility. If you ignore even one of these for a good period of time or fail to take care of these aspects then you are sending a sure invitation from front door.
There is no such thing as autopilot in a good marriage relationship. Marriages require a regular investment of effort and time for understanding your partner and also for problem solving. This is the best way to avoid divorce.
Do not make a blunder of assuming that everything will go well automatically. Please see: How to Keep Your Relationship Strong and Fun
At the same time there are times and situations when divorce is a better or only situation. Read When to End a Relationship
Please share your views and feedback please
Hope you found the reasons mentioned here honest and candid. Do share your own experiences, and suggestions in the box below. This may benefit other readers too.
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Other Marriage related articles :
- Why have a love hate relationship?
- How to improve your relationship?
- How to save Marriage and Avoid Divorce