In any marriage, just like any other relationship, both partners make mistakes and learn from them as they move on in life. You can say that it is quite natural for them to do so. But there are some common mistakes that almost all newlywed couples make. Hence we share 5 mistakes every newlywed couple makes. Newlywed couples will do well if they knew at least some of these mistakes beforehand and avoid falling into the trap.
Of course, the newlywed couples have the liberty to try their own ‘hit and trial’ methods to learn from their mistakes, if they so like!
Mistakes Every Newlywed Couple Makes
We shall briefly talk here about five mistakes that every newlywed couple makes.
1. Not Talking About Finances
This is one of the worst mistakes that newlyweds make. Avoiding financial discussions can lead to some long lasting misunderstandings and conflicts in a marriage. Openly talking about finances yields the following benefits to newlywed couples:
- Helps them determine their general financial philosophy of being ‘spenders’ or ‘savers’;
- Helps the newlywed couples make a monthly budget and deal with their shared expenses while keeping room for emergency expenses;
- Helps newlywed couples live within their means and save for their future as well.
2. Ambiguity About Your Core Values
As a newlywed couple, you and your spouse may be very compatible. But there still can be some areas where the two of you don’t see eye to eye such as your movie tastes and likings or your food preferences. These differences are easy to resolve or cope up with. However, if the disagreements are on ‘core’ values like whether to have children or not, fiscal ideologies etc., these must be resolved at the earliest because they, otherwise, tend to become sore points for a long time to come.
Even if the newlywed couple does not agree on these points, they must plan as to how they intend to deal with these issues as they move on in life. Leaving such issues unresolved for long could well lead to the need for marriage therapy or marriage counseling in future in order to save their marriage.
3. Failing To Draw Boundaries
Marriage is a long journey which the newlywed couple has to cover together. Each spouse will have to surrender some independence. But still, each partner needs to protect his or her unique identity and individuality. The newlywed couple should not desist from creating some breathing space in their marriage and the lovely relationship that they share. There should be room for both the partners to grow together as well as in their individual capacities.
4. Not ‘Communicating’ Your Love To Your Spouse
Newlywed couples at best have a limited knowledge about the love language. Love can be communicated by an individual through words of appreciation, gifts, physical touch, some acts of rendering a service or by spending quality time with his or her spouse. Newlywed couples fail to communicate their love to the spouse in the manner in which the other partner best understands and appreciates the gesture.
Let there be no criss-cross of the love language in your sweet home. Know the love language of your spouse and act accordingly, quite regardless of your spouse’s way of expressing his or her love towards you.
Please refer to: Healthy Relationship Tips For Couples
As a newlywed couple, you can even have a discussion with your spouse on how he or she would expect and wish you to shower your love on him or her. You can then also share your own expectations with your spouse in order to have a truly meaningful exchange of fond love and adoration between the two of you.
5. Letting Date Nights Become A Thing Of The Past
After the first few weeks or months, newlywed couples let date nights die a natural death. You should never allow that to happen to your marriage. Keep the adventure and magic on by getting out of your home once every week for your date night. Every date night need not be an expensive one but it must shake you out of your complacency. You can also take turns to plan your date nights together so that even this ‘responsibility’ is a shared one.
Recommended: How to Keep Your Relationship Strong and Fun
As a newlywed, follow the simple steps mentioned above and there would never be a need for you to think about having any marriage counseling or marriage therapy sessions. In the times to come, the two of you could well become role models for many newlywed couples.
A Useful Tip to The Newlyweds For Happy Married Life
Newlywed couples start a relationship where two strangers start living together to make their dream of a happy marriage come true. The journey together for the newlyweds is somewhat like going on an unknown trail. In life, if you happen to lose track by mistake, you are bound to face many hurdles till you realize your mistake and come back on the right track. Similar is the case with the newlyweds. If they are conscious, they may make mistakes but would come back on the right track soon. Then, there would be no need to consider marriage therapy or marriage counseling at any stage of their marriage. What they need to do is to just exercise a little caution and take timely corrective action.
Role of Marriage Therapy and Marriage Counseling in the Lives of Newlyweds
More often than not, couples consider going in for marriage therapy and marriage counseling only after a few years of their marriage. They feel the need for such marriage therapy only when they find that they are not able to resolve the differences amicably on their own in order to have a successful marriage. At the same time, they find that they admire and love each other like ever before. They could also be opting for marriage therapy or marriage counseling on the advice of some well-wishers or close friends who may be witnessing their tiffs.
However, newlywed couples do not generally need marriage therapy or marriage counseling and are better off if they can find useful tips for a successful marriage from some other sources including people who have been happily married for decades.
Here are link to more such articles on the subject:
- Top Reasons for Divorce in Seasoned Marriages
- How to save Marriage and Avoid Divorce
- Why have a love hate relationship?
- How to Support your Spouse Emotionally