Avoid wasting your life with a bad relationship. Let me share with you a few practical tips to make your relationship with your loved one sweet, intense, strong, powerful and harmonious. These tips are quite easy to understand, simple to follow and have the potential to make a whole lot of difference to the quality and stability of your relationship.
Begin with yourself
Whether you are getting into a relationship, or are moving forward with an existing relationship or are in a committed relationship or are already married – irrespective of your stage or type of relationship you can have a great relationship with someone only and only if you are at peace with yourself.
This concept here has some other connotations also. You should also pay attention to your personal growth. Unless you grow in terms of wisdom, career, knowledge and overall success in life, you will not become an exciting person for your partner or spouse. If you do not have anything exciting in life to share, for how long can you sustain the interest of your loved one in you and your life? This means that for the relationship to remain a fun, interesting, healthy and characterized by a powerful bond you have to continuously evolve in life otherwise the life will become boring and relationship unbearable for both of you.
Thirdly, you must learn to respect yourself and maintain an identity. If you allow yourself to be mitigated, the relationship will lose the charm sooner or later. You have to care for yourself too. So do not give too much of yourself and get lost in the relationship.
So keep developing yourself and your relationship along with that.
Take interest in the growth of your partner
You can’t build a relationship alone. A good relationship is a co-creation of a future together. When both the partners are well developed personalities, have great individualities and respect each other’s space they can create a great future together with their combined strengths. You align with each other’s dreams and one partner supports the other in realizing his and her full potential. It is fun building a great relationship. This makes an amazingly strong relationship!
Be Each Other’s Best Friends
Of course, the partners in a relationship (or marriage) are supposed to be romancing but just romancing is not a complete diet of a healthy and long relationship. Romance / love / being loved are one of the many emotional needs.
Simply put, this means that you have got to be real. If your relationship is based on false image, wrong promises or pretension it would not be possible for the individual to carry it too long. If you put on the persona of another character the other partner is bound to notice that what is real and what is fake. For instance, there may be a situation where you behave very well in the company of a particular type of person and are completely different with other types. Similarly, your set of values changes when the external environment changes. So don’t let the circumstances lead to an embarrassing situation.
Nobody can take undue advantage of you if are just yourself. Suppose you pretend to be too sweet to your date during the initial period and rush to please him or her at any cost then when you start living together, your life will become miserable as you can’t carry on like this for long. Also being real makes you so comfortable with yourself.
Accept your partner as he or she is
If your girl friend does not like to put on makeup while going out or your boy friend loves to order a pizza and coke instead of a fancy dish and hates salad even at a fancy restaurant, it is OK. It is better to be someone who loves your natural personality and helps enhance it rather than a partner who make you self conscious of your looks / style / habits etc.
The downside of not accepting the natural personality of your spouse or partner is that it will give rise to high expectations from the other person and eventually there are going to be disappointments when the other person refuses to change or can’t change completely. Please remind yourself that nobody is perfect. So you have to give him or her love despite the ‘defects’. The best strategy would be to look at these ‘defects’ as the ‘great effects’.
Understand each other
Actually this is the next level of the previous point. No two personalities are same. They have different, tastes, personalities, likes and dislikes. Even the twins who are mirror images of each other may have different personalities and may end up fighting each other over silly issues.
For example, if you are a girl and your guy is a sports freak and he loves to watch Tennis or Football on TV then it would be wrong to expect him to go shopping with you or help you in kitchen at that time. May be your girlfriend is a doctor or a career oriented corporate executive and it would be wrong on your part to expect her to respond to your one line or one word text messages, especially when she is busy with her work.
How well the partners understand each other is an indicator of the strength of the relationship.
Give and receive love
There are many ways of loving, from physical togetherness to saying ‘I love you’ to gifting to having fun together, it is important to play both the roles i.e. give and take. This will create a bonding and keep the love going strong, a fun and full of interest.
Spend time with each other
While technology has removed the time to reach out to a person yet it has increased the heart to heart distance between two loving and romantic partners.
The point here is that any number of sweet text messages or sending photos is no substitute for being in each other arms, listening patiently and smiling. This is kind of old fashioned way of reassuring your partner that “I am always here for you and with you” or “I love you”. This is a basic human need which cannot be changed. It will require the approach of a gentleman and a lady of yesteryears who would put in efforts to invest in their relationship. Walk an extra mile to keep the relationship going strong for a long time.
You may try to make up for the opportunities lost by buying her expensive diamond ring or take her for the most exquisite dinner but it may still not work fully.
Don’t let technology interfere in your relationship
It is an acceptable fact that technology has not only entered our day to day lives but it has invaded our privacy and has entered the bedrooms. Many relationship problems and marriage problems are being brought to the marriage counselors where the root cause is unhealthy use of technology. One of the partners can take a serious objection to the Facebook comments / Whats app status / posting a picture / liking or not liking a post on the social media.
If not so much, the partners may be wasting hundreds of minutes on the laptop or smart phone ( even when in the bed) checking the updates and the status of others on social media. Instead the time could have been spent together to build a stronger bond, understanding each other rather than wasting it.
It is a common complaint of one partner about the other that she or he goes to bed with his / her laptop than me. See: Why have a Love Hate Relationship
If you want to be happy and want to keep the relationship going strong for a long time, then learn to keep the technology in a place it belongs to. It is also one of the tips on how to fix a relationship and be happy.
Here is warning too! Earlier it used be just Facebook or twitter but now Snap Chat, Instagram and others are catching up and are equally addictive. So you have to grow up if you want a happy married life or a strong relationship.
Trust each other
No relationship advice or marriage counseling is ever complete without emphasizing on the element of mutual trust.
Trust is always one of the foundation pillars for creating a strong relationship. Whereas, lack or loss of trust is one of the most common reasons causing bad relationships.
Trust means that you have to put your faith and confidence in your partner, and that you expect honesty, integrity, loyalty, and respect to be at the center of your relationship. You also expect your partner to keep promises and confidences, and to stay with you when the going gets tough.
Have a process to control threat to damage in relations
No relationship is perfect. There can be complaints, misunderstanding, fights, criticisms, nagging and similar issues leading to discord and disconnect. The wisdom of couple lies in having a pre-defined frame work to clear this negativity at the earliest and keep moving forward in life without any baggage of negativity. For example, a good clearing conversation between the partners can iron out the differences and weed out the misunderstandings without causing any damage to the relationship.
This is an excellent relationship advice. This is also important component of marriage counseling and relationship therapy.
Put in efforts
In this world, every creation and its maintenance require care and efforts. Nothing happens on its own. Only weed grows on its own. If you don’t care for your partner or spouse, and could be bothered about her needs and desires then don’t blame anyone but yourself for an eventual break up. You have no right to break her little heart with your careless or forgetful nature.
There is a regular need to give your relationship the respect and care it deserves. Nurture it with love and time to keep the relationship strong and fun.
Summary of How to Keep Your Relationship Strong and Fun
Any relationship which has been brought up on love, care, efforts, mutual trust and understanding is bound to be a pleasant, long lasting, sweet and harmonious one for the couple.
I hope that you find these tips practical and they resonate with you so that you can implement them in your relationship to make it more strong, powerful, fun, beautiful and meaningful.
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Other articles which may be of interest to you
- How to Improve Your Relationship
- When does your husband need your emotional support
- How to Support your Spouse Emotionally
- How to save Marriage and Avoid Divorce
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