So the things did not work out between two of you. Now you feel that you are in a bit of mess comprising of confusion, memories and lack of direction.
Whether it was a break of an intense or casual relationship or it was a divorce, the break up is always unpleasant, painful and it leaves behind a load of memories. It is not easy to forget your ex or let go of the connection.
Yet the life has to move on and forgetting is an important activity which must be completed at the earliest.
How to forget an Ex you still love
Forgetting your ex requires a lot of efforts. Sometimes just the efforts are not sufficient to get the desired results. This blog attempts to share with you ways to get over a breakup in a logical process and a step by step approach which can be effectively helpful.
The mechanism of forgetting your Ex
The amount of time and action necessary to forget depends on the intensity of the relationship and the effort that you put into forgetting.
It will certainly be helpful to understand how memories are formed to initiate the mechanism of forgetting someone who was once an important part of your life.
Each interaction you had with this person created new mental and emotional connections in your mind. In a way, your mind was rewired by your experiences with him or her. Once made, these connections are stay in place.
Therefore, the connections cannot be undone, but the power to these circuits can be weakened or stronger circuits can be created which are pleasant and helpful. These circuits are activated through the triggers, thus the first thing is to understand and remove the triggers which remand of your Ex.
The strategy of forgetting your Ex
Triggers include anything that remind you of your ex and time spent. It may be pictures, videos, gifts, movies, restaurants, parks and other parts of town where the two of you had been going. To facilitate forgetting you have to remove these triggers from your life. Once the cleaning up has been done, you need to replace these triggers with something different.
Not all triggers are in physical form. Therefore, some changes in daily routine will also have to be done. Otherwise, you will remain surrounded by these triggers in your thoughts, feelings and emotions making it difficult to carry out the exercise of forgetting successful. This may mean making changes in your dress sense, hair style, restaurant you go to eat etc. You may also have to change the friends and places with which two of you were associated with, if they trigger memories of your ex.
The steps of forgetting an Ex you still love
Now let us focus on specific steps you need to take.
1. Delete everything
Throw away, gift or sell all the memoirs, toys, items, apparels, love letters etc. which trigger the memory of this person. Delete his or digital presence from your life. This includes phone numbers, chat texts and emails. It might hurt you, or may be difficult but you won’t succeed in forgetting your ex if you no longer have access to these things.
2. Cut off all communication with your ex.
Again difficult and Harsh, but it works.
Tell yourself that this person was part of your life, but that is past and you have to move on. Do not try to befool yourself by thinking of “remaining just friends”. This will not work if you want to forget your ex because by remaining in touch you will create circumstances and let emotions creep in from back door or side window for the memories to keep coming back. Do you remember “out of sight, out of mind”!
3. Take care of yourself.
At this point of time the person who needs the help, care and support is YOU. Therefore, give top priority to your physical and emotional well being. It is quite possible that you might have lost your appetite or could find it hard to sleep. In the day, do good amount of exercises or go for long walks or jog to make sure that your body works out, you get good amount of fresh air and oxygen, your body is throwing out toxins and at the end of the day you are exhausted when you go to bed.
This will make you hungry and you should eat well the nutritious food. Also this will help you sleep better or get more sleep.
You’ll also benefit from the physical activity, as exercise is great for fighting depression. The time spent exercising will keep those harder thoughts swirling around your mind.
In overcoming your ex, you will need to accept that it takes time, effort and above all patience. Know and accept that the feelings will be more intense if the relationship break is still fresh or recent.
Over a period of time, these sensations will begin to diminish. Of course, there may be times when the memories come back to haunt to you or the feelings fire up again. These sensations may be triggered by things which are periodic such as birthdays or anniversary. Having such reactions is common in overcoming your ex. and you need to be positive and determined.